Thanksgiving is usually a time when families come together, share a meal, and maybe argue over who makes the best stuffing. But one woman’s holiday plans have sparked a debate after her sister-in-law announced that everyone would need to pay $40 per person to attend Thanksgiving dinner.
The problem wasn’t necessarily the fee itself. She was also expected to buy and cook the turkey, prepare the stuffing, and pay $120 for her own family to attend.
Now she’s wondering whether it’s unreasonable to tell her sister-in-law to buy her own turkey.
A $40 Charge for Thanksgiving Dinner
In a Reddit post, the woman explained that her mother-in-law recently handed Thanksgiving hosting duties to her husband’s sister.
The new host sent a group text announcing that dinner would cost $40 per person, with children under 10 eating free. Everyone was also asked to bring something to drink.
For the woman, her husband, and their daughter, who is too old to qualify for the free meal, that meant paying $120 to attend Thanksgiving.
But shortly after sending the group message, her sister-in-law reached out privately to ask whether she was still planning to bring the turkey.
She’s Already Spending $70 on the Turkey
The woman explained that she’s handled the Thanksgiving turkey every year since her father passed away.
She uses his old smoker, which he purchased at a church auction when she was in high school. Although the smoker takes up plenty of space in the garage, preparing the turkey has become a meaningful family tradition.
She genuinely enjoys doing it, even though a turkey large enough to feed everyone costs around $70. She also has to get up before sunrise and spend hours checking on it as it cooks.
Between the $120 attendance fee and the turkey, her family would already be spending at least $190 on Thanksgiving.
Meanwhile, she explained that her husband’s brother and his wife were only bringing a case of beer, and she wasn’t aware of anyone else being asked to prepare food.
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Then Came Another Request
The woman considered paying the $120 and telling her sister-in-law that, since everyone was contributing money toward dinner, the turkey should come out of that fund, too.
But she hesitated.
Her sister-in-law and husband had recently bought their first home, and money had reportedly been tight since they took on their new mortgage. She didn’t want to create tension during her sister-in-law’s first year hosting Thanksgiving.
Before she could decide what to say, another message arrived.
This time, her sister-in-law asked if she could make the stuffing, too.
That left her wondering whether she was expected to contribute two major dishes while paying the same amount as relatives who weren’t cooking.
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Reddit Users Questioned the Arrangement
Many Reddit commenters agreed that asking family members to help cover Thanksgiving costs wasn’t necessarily unreasonable, especially with grocery prices making large holiday meals expensive.
However, they felt the woman shouldn’t have to pay the full $120 while also purchasing and preparing the turkey and stuffing.
Several suggested that the food she was bringing should count toward her family’s contribution. Others recommended asking her sister-in-law to reimburse her for the ingredients or purchase the turkey herself.
Some commenters questioned charging relatives for Thanksgiving at all, suggesting a potluck would be a simpler way to divide the cost and work.
Others pointed out that hosting involves expenses beyond the food, including preparation, cleaning, and accommodating a large group of guests.
Should Thanksgiving Guests Have to Pay?
Sharing the cost of a large holiday meal can make sense, especially when one household would otherwise have to feed everyone.
But this raises a question: how should those costs be divided when some relatives contribute money while others provide expensive dishes and hours of preparation?
The woman hasn’t said whether she ultimately confronted her sister-in-law or agreed to bring the food.
For now, she’s left deciding whether to keep the family tradition going or ask the new Thanksgiving host to take responsibility for the turkey.
What do you think? Is charging family $40 per person for Thanksgiving reasonable, or should bringing the turkey and stuffing be enough of a contribution?
