A good server can make a meal more enjoyable, but a pleasant dining experience also depends on how customers treat staff. Servers often juggle several tables, answer questions, deliver orders, handle special requests, and fix problems throughout a shift.
Most diners mean well, but a few common comments can make a server’s job harder than it needs to be. A little courtesy and clear communication can make the meal more pleasant for everyone.
“What’s Good Here?”
Asking for recommendations is perfectly fine, but such a broad question can be tough to answer when a restaurant has a large menu. Give your server a few clues about what you enjoy, like spicy dishes, vegetarian meals, seafood, or a price range, and you’ll get a more useful suggestion.
Related: 15 Restaurant Etiquette Mistakes People Make Without Realizing
Calling Your Server “Honey” or “Sweetie”
Some people use pet names out of habit, but not every server feels comfortable being addressed that way. Use their name if they’ve introduced themselves, or stick with a polite greeting and a simple “thank you.”
Related: Restaurant Workers Share the Rudest Things Customers Do
Snapping, Whistling, or Yelling Across the Room
Snapping your fingers, whistling, or shouting across the restaurant can come across as rude, especially when your server is helping another table. Make eye contact or politely raise your hand, then give them a moment to respond.
Related: 12 Things Customers Do With Tips That Frustrate Restaurant Staff
Complaining About Menu Prices
Your server usually has no say in the price of a steak, cocktail, or side dish. If a meal is outside your budget, ask about specials or choose another dish instead of expecting the server to justify the restaurant’s prices.
“Can You Split This Six Ways?”
Splitting a bill among several people can get complicated, especially when everyone has ordered different dishes and drinks. Tell your server how you’d like to pay before the meal ends, and be as clear as possible about who is covering which items.
Requesting Endless Menu Changes
Restaurants can often accommodate allergies, dietary restrictions, and reasonable substitutions, but a long list of off-menu changes can put extra pressure on the kitchen. Explain any dietary needs clearly, and ask what modifications are possible before you order.
“Can You Get Our Food Out First?”
A busy restaurant prepares orders according to its kitchen workflow, so asking your table to jump ahead may not be possible. If you’re short on time, tell your server when you arrive and ask which dishes can be prepared more quickly.
Related: 12 Ways Your Restaurant Order Becomes More Expensive Than Planned
“I’m Not Tipping If This Isn’t Perfect”
Threatening to withhold a tip rarely helps resolve a problem and can make an already tense situation worse. If your food is incorrect or the service falls short, explain the issue calmly and give the staff a chance to address it.
“I Know the Owner”
Telling your server you know the owner can make you seem like you expect special treatment. A friendly attitude and respectful conversation build better rapport with restaurant staff.
Asking Questions the Menu Already Answers
Servers are happy to explain unfamiliar dishes, ingredients, or preparation methods, but reading the menu first saves everyone time. If the description leaves you with questions, ask away, especially if you have an allergy or need to know how a dish is prepared.
