A good server can make a meal even more enjoyable, but great service goes both ways. Restaurant servers juggle multiple tables, answer questions, deliver food, solve problems, and keep everything moving behind the scenes, often all at once.
Most customers are polite without even thinking, but a few common phrases can make a server’s job much harder. Avoiding these comments doesn’t just create a better experience for the staff; it also helps make your own meal run more smoothly and be more enjoyable.
“What’s Good Here?”
There’s nothing wrong with asking for recommendations, but “What’s good?” is so broad that it’s difficult to answer.
Instead, give your server something to work with. Mention whether you’re in the mood for seafood, looking for something vegetarian, trying to stay under a certain price, or love spicy food. You’ll usually get a much more helpful recommendation.
Calling Your Server “Honey” or “Sweetie”
Some people use pet names out of habit, but not everyone appreciates them. Your server is a professional doing their job, and addressing them respectfully, whether by their name if they introduced themselves or with a simple “thank you,” creates a much more comfortable interaction.
Snapping, Whistling, or Yelling Across the Room
If your server is busy helping another table, snapping your fingers or calling across the restaurant is rarely the best way to get their attention.
A quick smile, eye contact, or raising your hand is usually enough. If they’re unavailable, another member of the staff will often notice and step in to help.
Complaining About Menu Prices
Your server doesn’t decide how much the steak costs or why drinks are priced the way they are.
If something feels outside your budget, simply order something else or ask about specials. Arguing about prices with your server won’t change the menu.
“Can You Split This 6 Ways?”
Most restaurants are happy to split checks, but complicated payment requests are much easier if they’re mentioned before everyone starts ordering.
Waiting until the end of the meal to divide a large bill into multiple combinations slows things down and increases the chance of mistakes.
Requesting Endless Menu Changes
Most restaurants can accommodate dietary restrictions or reasonable substitutions, but asking for multiple off-menu modifications can be difficult for both the kitchen and your server.
If you have dietary restrictions, explain them clearly. Otherwise, ordering something that’s already close to what you want usually leads to a better meal.
“Can You Get Our Food Out First?”
Every table thinks they’re in a hurry. Restaurants operate on carefully timed systems, and asking to skip ahead usually isn’t possible. If you’re on a tight schedule, let your server know at the beginning of the meal so they can suggest quicker menu options.
“I’m Not Tipping If This Isn’t Perfect”
Using the tip as a threat rarely leads to a better experience. If something isn’t right, politely explain the problem and give your server an opportunity to fix it. Most genuinely want you to leave happy.
“I Know the Owner”
Mentioning that you know the owner, or claiming special treatment because of it, usually has the opposite effect to what people intend.
The best way to receive excellent service is simply to treat everyone with kindness and respect, regardless of who you know.
Asking Questions the Menu Already Answers
Servers are happy to answer questions, but taking a moment to read the menu first can save everyone time.
If the answer still isn’t clear, ask away. Most servers appreciate thoughtful questions much more than ones that could have been answered by reading the description.
