Hosting Thanksgiving can be a lot of work, especially when you’re responsible for buying groceries, preparing the meal, getting the house ready, and cleaning up afterward. It’s even more frustrating when everyone else gets to enjoy the holiday while you’re stuck doing most of the work.
For many families, Thanksgiving is a tradition that brings everyone together. But what happens when that tradition becomes one person’s responsibility year after year?
One homeowner is questioning whether they should keep hosting after spending hundreds of dollars and getting little help from family.
Hosting Thanksgiving has become an expectation
In a recent Reddit post, a homeowner explained that they’ve hosted Thanksgiving for the past two years because their house is larger than their siblings’ homes.
Last year, they spent approximately $180 on groceries and supplies, cooked most of the meal, and cleaned the house before everyone arrived.
Their siblings brought desserts and drinks, but once dinner ended, everyone headed home, leaving the homeowner to clean the kitchen alone.
Although they didn’t think their family was intentionally rude, they felt everyone had assumed they would handle the holiday preparations.
Mom already made plans without asking
This year, the homeowner’s mother began telling relatives that Thanksgiving would once again take place at their house. When the homeowner suggested that someone else host, their mother pushed back, arguing that their house had the most space and everyone would be disappointed if the tradition changed.
The homeowner offered a compromise. They would host again if family members agreed to bring dishes and help with the cleanup. Unfortunately, the response wasn’t particularly encouraging.
Their sister offered to bring dessert but couldn’t promise additional help because of work commitments. Their brother hadn’t responded to the family group chat.
The homeowner explained that they still wanted to celebrate with their family but didn’t want to spend another holiday doing all the work while everyone else relaxed.
Related: 10 Dinner Party Guests Hosts Wish They Had Never Invited
People say having the biggest house doesn’t mean hosting every year
The Reddit discussion drew plenty of responses, with many commenters supporting the homeowner’s decision to reconsider hosting.
Several pointed out that hosting two consecutive years doesn’t automatically establish a permanent family tradition. Others were particularly bothered that the mother had volunteered to host at someone else’s home without asking permission.
Many suggested making Thanksgiving a potluck, assigning each family member a dish, and dividing cleanup responsibilities before the holiday.
Some recommended ordering a prepared meal and splitting the cost, while others thought the homeowner should simply decline and let someone else take a turn.
Should hosting Thanksgiving be a shared responsibility?
Holiday gatherings can be expensive and time-consuming, particularly when one person is expected to handle nearly everything.
Sharing the cooking, grocery expenses, and cleanup can make hosting more manageable without requiring families to give up their traditions.
For now, the homeowner hasn’t shared a final decision about Thanksgiving. But they’ve made it clear they’re no longer comfortable taking on the entire responsibility alone
