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Co-parenting can be complicated, even when both parents are involved. But for one mom, what should be a basic parenting responsibility has turned into an ongoing source of stress, and now she’s questioning whether she’s overreacting or simply trying to protect her child.

In a post on Reddit, the 33-year-old explained that she shares 50/50 custody of her 11-year-old son with her ex-husband, with each parent taking alternating weeks. While the arrangement works in theory, she says there’s one issue that keeps coming up every time her son returns home, and it’s becoming harder to ignore.

man with son — Image Credit: Deposit Photos

A Weekly Pattern She Can’t Ignore

According to her, her son often comes back after an entire week without showering, brushing his teeth, or wearing clean clothes. What might seem like an occasional oversight has, in her words, become a consistent pattern over several years.

Each time it happens, she finds herself having to reset her routines all over again, which is not only frustrating but also concerning from a health standpoint.

Conversations With Her Ex Go Nowhere

She says she hasn’t stayed quiet about the issue. Over time, she’s brought it up multiple times, hoping to find some consistency between households.

Instead, those conversations tend to end the same way. Her ex becomes defensive, accusing her of nitpicking or trying to control how he parents, which leaves her feeling dismissed and stuck in the same cycle.

It’s About More Than Just Hygiene

For her, this isn’t about preference; it’s about basic care. Hygiene habits like showering and brushing teeth are essential, especially at this age, and she doesn’t believe an 11-year-old can be expected to manage them completely on his own.

She also shared additional concerns about her son’s environment during his dad’s time, including late-night gaming, unrestricted internet access, and a lack of structure. Altogether, she feels it creates a situation where routines and boundaries simply don’t exist.

The situation is further complicated by the fact that her son has ADHD, which can make it harder to build and maintain habits without support. While he follows routines fairly well at her house with reminders, she says that consistency disappears entirely when expectations aren’t reinforced at his dad’s home.

That inconsistency, she worries, could impact not only his hygiene but also his long-term habits and overall well-being.

Reddit Had a Strong Reaction

As expected, the post drew a lot of attention, and most people didn’t think she was overreacting.

Many commenters pointed out that kids this age still need regular reminders and guidance, especially when it comes to hygiene. Others went further, suggesting that allowing a child to go days without basic care, such as brushing teeth or bathing, could constitute neglect if it occurs consistently.

Some also shared personal experiences, explaining how poor hygiene habits in childhood led to dental issues, health problems, or even social struggles later in life.

So… Is She Overreacting?

Probably not. Her concern isn’t about being overly strict; it’s about making sure her son develops essential habits that affect both his health and confidence. Most parents would agree that expecting an 11-year-old to shower, brush his teeth, and wear clean clothes isn’t unreasonable.